New Old Spice Guy Von Miller vs. Old Old Spice Guy Terry Crews

New Old Spice Guy Von Miller vs. Old Old Spice Guy Terry Crews

Photos: Courtsey of Old Spice

Denver Broncos linebacker Von Miller is the higher paid defensive player in the NFL, and now he’s making more side loot with a gig as the new Old Spice Guy. Last year Miller scored a six-year, $ 114.5 million contract that included roughly $ 70 million in guarantees. That kind of cheddar buys a lot of deodorant. Now he’s sure to smell delightful as he spends all of that loot. Miller’s tasked with pushing

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Now Miller sure to smell delightful as he spends all of that loot. Miller’s tasked with pushing Old Spice’s Hardest Working Collection, which includes Sweat Defense Anti-Perspirant, Odor Blocker Anti-Perspirant, and Dirt Destroyer Body Wash. Truth be told, Old Spice reps sent us samples of the products and they’re solid. Still, that didn’t stop our editors from bickering about whether Miller or former Old Spice Guy Terry Crews was better for the brand. Let’s go to the tale of the tape …

New Old Spice Guy Von Miller vs. Old Old Spice Guy Terry Crews

VON MILLER
Height: 6’3″
Weight: 250 lbs.
NFL Career: Denver Broncos (2011-present)
Career highlights: Four-time Pro Bowl selection (2011-2012; 2014-2015); Super Bowl champ and MVP (Super Bowl 50)
Hobbies: Chicken farmer
Notable TV appearances: Dancing with the Stars (Season 22)
Pitchman assets: Claims Old Spice is the “Greatest Smell in the NFL” and we believe him because, duh, he’s super good at football
Arrests: Failure-to-appear warrant in 2003, which isn’t a big deal but he can still say he was tossed in the clink
NFL suspensions: Six games in ’13 for violation of the NFL’s drug-testing policy

 

New Old Spice Guy Von Miller vs. Old Old Spice Guy Terry Crews

TERRY CREWS
Height: 6’2″
Weight: 245 lbs.
NFL Career: Rams (’91), Chargers (’93); Redskins (’95); Eagles (’96)
Position: Linebacker
Career highlights: 57 tackles, looks pretty scary while wearing his uniform
Hobbies: Masturbation (seriously)
Pitchman Assets: Great carnival barker, huge pecs, could intimidate you into blowing your life savings on Old Spice grooming products
Arrests: Not by the cops, but he appeared in Arrested Development as Herman Love
Notable Moappearancesarences: Termiator Salvation (2009); The Expendables (2010);Are We There Yet (2011); The Expendables 3 (2012); The Expendables 3 (2014); Brooklyn Nine-Nine (2015-present)

 

Also Read: 10 Amazing Football Stadiums … Made From Food

New Old Spice Guy Von Miller vs. Old Old Spice Guy Terry Crews

 

 

Modern Man

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